Monday, May 16, 2011

Let's Talk About . . . Underwear.

Seriously.  Underwear.  Are you as weird about it as I am?


Now, this is a picture taken with my new Galaxy phone, which, I discovered, has a "Vintage" setting!  Who'd a thunk it?  Of course I had to texture it and everything, but this is a picture of the new underwear I bought yesterday when The Loved One and I went to the outlet mall.  I was desperate for new underwear and I got it.

Okay, but here's the weird part.  My underwear drawer is like a Roach Motel -- new underwear goes in, but nothing ever comes out.  In my last trip to the outlet mall, I bought a whole bunch of underwear, because the underwear I had was sooooo old . . . When I wore the new underwear, I discovered that I hadn't paid attention to the fact that the crotch on the style I bought five or six pairs of (because they were cute) was no more than 1" wide, almost like a thong, really (though the rest of the garment was most definitely not a thong).  As you can imagine, these were not the most comfortable underwear ever worn.  Oh yes, one of the other pairs kind of slid off my behind as I was walking, and it did it one day when I was up in front of the classroom -- every step I took to write something on the board or go back to my notes, the dang things slid another 1/2 inch lower until . . . well, let's just say that it's a good thing I was wearing slacks, or there may not have been a limit to how low they went.

So, did I get rid of this new, unsatisfactory-for-a-whole-variety-of-reasons underwear?  Nope.  It sat in the drawer, and I continued to wear the old, now horribly decrepit, underwear, and I wore the new underwear, despite its issues, whenever I hadn't done laundry in time before I ran out of the old ones.

Is this too much information?  Is this too embarrassing to blog?  I just really want to know whether I'm the only one.  This time, I looked very carefully at what I was buying, and on the way home, in the presence of a witness, I swore that for every pair of the new underwear that actually fits, I would throw away a pair of the old underwear. 
Of course, I didn't say which old underwear.  I didn't say the old-old underwear.  I think I have to hang onto that.  Just in case.

23 comments:

Linda Makiej said...

I love this post. I love this post. I love this post. !!!!!!

Elise Ann Wormuth said...

Yes, but do you wear your really old underwear??? :p Thanks for the comment.

lisa said...

Elise, this is waaaay too funny, and I am absolutely sure you are not the only one out there who does this :-)

Thank you for your wonderful honesty, and for sharing this today at The Creative Exchange.

Have a wonderful evening!

lisa.

texwisgirl said...

i totally admit to wearing raggedy-a** (pun intended) undies if they are comfortable and fit. i have been there with the new ones that look like ones you've had before but end up being cut totally different and don't fit well, etc. UGH!!!

Elise Ann Wormuth said...

Thanks, ladies -- I appreciate it :)

Bohemian said...

OMG Elise you were absolutely right, I DID need a Post like this to make a Happy Spot in a difficult day! *whew... LOL* And yes, believe it or not during this huge edit & purge project one of my first donations/discards was from my intimates drawers because I had NUMEROUS pairs of chonies & bras, all brand spanking new and lovely to LOOK AT... but which were totally not working out for design or size reasons! So I tossed the one pair of each I'd 'sampled' and donated all the rest, still in packaging... hopefully someone will not mind the styling options that I found to be not working for me at all!!! *winks* I don't know what I was thinking... I went back to buying my faithful but ugly Granny Panties and Bras styles and now I'm okay... but I did LMAO at your Post... been there... done that... so I have a total point of reference! Dawn... The Bohemian

Katy Noelle said...

It's just never safe for me to comment about these things but you're so funny....!!! Of course, we can all relate - it's the same with, not only, intimates but shoes and dresses and skirts and blouses.... sigh! Isn't it just heaven to get something new and pretty that really, really works?

Cute pic, btw! It's a dash of pretty!

Love, Katy

and, before I go....Blogland! It's girlfriends "getting together for lunch" or something like that. Isn't it?

MarieElizabeth said...

You made me laugh! I think the it is a never-ending quest for the perfect fit/color/cuteness/utility. I have gotten a little better about purging one for every new one that comes in, but it is a conscious process. And I'm always looking for new stuff!

jo©o said...

It IS rather - too much info.
but then, I'm still giggling.

My aunt's claim to fame is that her knicker elastic broke when standing on a platform waiting for a train.

She let it drop, stepped out of it deftly and got on the train, much to my mother's undying admiration.

I go mailorder in three different size, so that I can adapt to fluctuation :-)

bailey-road.com said...

Delightful post! A very pretty photo, too!

Elise Ann Wormuth said...

Thanks, everyone, for your comments!

Anika said...

HA! You're hilarious. You know, a drawer full of good underwear really is a great thing ;) I remember a study I once read about how women with comfortable underwear actually had better days-they were more positive, comfortable, and their days went "their" way more than women with uncomfortable underwear. So science has proven we need to splurge more often than not! ;)

(Glad you linked up!!)

Kristy said...

At first I thought your title read "lets talk about underwater"
But then I quickly realized what you were talking about. It is a pain to find cute and comfortable panties. PS your texture is cool!

Ms. Becky said...

you had me in stitches. I have a supply of underwear that I hope lasts me for the rest of my life. my mother gives me a package of Jockey for Her every year for Xmas. she asks me what I want and I tell her underwear. there you have it. but I admit to keeping old ones and wearing them until the holes get big enough to tell me "it's time". a friend of mine had the same experience with a pair slowing falling down too, and the only thing still keeping them up were her slacks. great post Elise!

camaca said...

the shots seem like oil paints! love it

Steph said...

Funny post! I think most women have "good" and so so underwear ;)

Jenn said...

I find that the underwear companies are against me... they always discontinue my favorite style... or make it in colors so horrible I can't wear then.

Elise Ann Wormuth said...

Thanks, everyone, for your responses. I appreciate it!

Amy said...

Love the peachy color with the green vignette. Very unique!

Margaret said...

Oh, the classroom "situation" was so funny! I have maternity underwear from my 4th child and that was... hmmm... over 8 years ago. I can't say I have worn it recently... I also have a girdle-like torture pair that I keep around just in case. Have only worn it once. The thongs lasted for about a week and i did pitch them. I'd rather wear the torture-girdle. Some are SO bad the elastic is about gone and with your story of the "creeping down" underwear, I will pitch them tonight. Yes, a trip to Macy's is on my calendar for this weekend... Thanks for the laugh.

Elise Ann Wormuth said...

You're more than welcome, Margaret -- glad to oblige.

leigh said...

I feel so close to you now! Thanks for linking up and over-sharing, this post was awesome!

Elise Ann Wormuth said...

Thank you, Leigh! I'm glad people enjoyed it. Now, what can I do to top it :)